We had risen at 03:30 to catch the early flight from Vienna, landed before 8 at Nice and hoped to be in Monaco by 9.

The Airport Express coach was on Stand 1. I didn’t check the number on the front, as this keeps changing, but it was in the right place and the right colour.

The driver, who was busy with his phone, waited for a third person and off we went.

“I hope he’s not on his phone while he’s driving,” I told my youngest.

He heard me on this rare occasion as he hadn’t had time to put his musical earplugs in. Usually I’m talking to myself. “He was doing forex trades,” he answered.

All was unfolding according to plan… until we left the autoroute. Above the entrance to the Monaco tunnel we came to a halt. In the 45 minutes we had to wait our coach driver continued his dollar-yen swaps and probably lost more than a day’s wages.

Apparently forex trading requires quick reflexes and so no surprise then that a Nice Airport-Monaco-Menton bus driver should conduct his day-trading sideline while taking split-second life-affirming decisions on the A8.

There are certain adages it’s worth knowing about, such as the one percent rule and the two percent rule and, my favourite one the 90-90-90 stat. Insiders try to warn off other would-be traders by claiming that 90 percent of new traders lose 90 percent of their money within 90 days. It’s based on fact. Forex trading is a fascinating way to lose money.

My youngest is one of the 10 percent, having started forex trading when he was 15 and very much on course to fail his maths O level or SCGE as it’s now called.

If I ever have a spare 100 euros I will entrust it to him to trade on my behalf.

To the Moretti Gallery where a new exhibition has opened highlighting ecclesiastical art from the late 15th century, and one delightful piece in particular from the early 17th century (below).

There were no prices on the paintings, just like Dolce & Gabbana. You have to ask.

I particularly liked this one. No doubt I can’t afford it but it didn’t stop me looking. Gazing in wonder would be more appropriate.

This painting, with a frame dating from the same period, is part of Moretti’s new exhibition and is the work of Giovanni Martinelli, 1600-1659, Allegory of Astronomy, oil on canvas, 65 x 50 cm. The price is in excess of 100,000 euros

If I had sold a successful UK business and moved to Monaco or pillaged a bank in Ukraine I could contemplate buying such a masterpiece, and the truth of the matter is that whatever it cost me I would leave Moretti’s gallery so much richer than when I entered. Then when I no longer have a day job – maybe next week – and I’ve run out of forex funds I would spend my remaining days marvelling at this undoubted masterpiece that spans four centuries.

Which reminds me. Monaco Art Week is approaching very fastly so there will be many opportunities to purchase lots of piss-take contemporary art.

Monte-Carlo Diary is published in the interests of editorial diversity, and any views or opinions expressed or implied by the author are not necessarily those of the publishers.

OTHER PHOTOS: The back of the Airport Express number 43, 80 or 110, centre, one of several masterpieces from the Cathedral of Lucca, Italy, at the Moretti Gallery in Monte-Carlo.