The incoming German Chancellor, or the man most likely to be, has been shouting aloud to anyone who will listen about the UK’s shortage of drivers, care home workers, meat packers, slaughter-persons and waiters, not to mention fruit pickers.
The resulting shortages of petrol, meat, industrial chicken and fruit and veggies are down to Brexit, he said.
Unfortunately, very few people across the Channel could hear what he said due to the noise of outboard motors taking seriously-misinformed young and mainly male migrants from Calais to Kent, where they will add themselves to the glorious cultural mix of modern Britain.
When they arrive on the pebbled shores of Hastings, Hove or Folkestone to be wrapped in blankets the throbbing din of their Yamahas and Mercuries will give way to the sound of the woke brigade telling them what to think. In the past week their diatribes have reached new heights.
The University of Kent now requires all new students to take a diversity course which suggests that wearing second-hand clothes and using swear words can be examples of white privilege. Apparently there are 13 questions, and if an aspiring art history undergraduate scores all 13 he, she or it, get a gold star, The Times reports. If they miss any, they need to take the quiz again.
The questionnaire aims to “dig deep into issues of racism, bias, sexual harassment and consent” and challenge students “to think about your own behaviour, the way you interact with others and the impact this could have on someone else’s experience”, it adds.
This institutionalised wokeness is not limited to Sassenachs. The University of Edinburgh has instructed lecturers not to use what it calls ‘micro-insults,’ such as “I wanted to be a boy when I was a child.”
Meanwhile, an American law professor has claimed that French cuisine is inherently racist. Mathilde Cohen, of Connecticut University, claimed in a tutorial that French eating habits reinforced the “dominance” of white people over ethnic minorities.
She said that French “eating culture … has been the central means of racial and ethnic identity formation through slavery, colonialism, and immigration. The whiteness of French food is all the more powerful in that it is unnamed, enabling the racial majority to benefit from food privileges without having to acknowledge their racial origin.”
Her views provoked a fitting response from a correspondent to the Times: “How can I eat anything but white food without being accused of Cultural Appropriation?”
This reminds me I should read only the Guardian in future, lest I adopt the wrong ideas so prevalent among middle-aged white men.